Survival Guide to Mother vs. Bride Fights
He’s gotten down on one knee, popped the question and you can now start officially planning your wedding. The one that you have been dreaming of since you were marrying off your Barbie's at six years old.
The poofy Cinderella dress may have evolved over time into something more elegant but you have a similar day in mind for you and your Ken.
Now, the chances are that your Mum has been having the same dream as you; only hers could be different, very different!
While you and her could be in sync and the wedding planning can be carried out hassle free, we highly doubt it. So we have prepared a list of the most common fights between the mother and the bride leading up to the day, and how you can handle them without starting World War III.
The Guest List:
This is a big one, especially if your parent's are helping to cover the cost of your wedding. You might be looking to have a small wedding and to set the guest list at 100 but by the time your Mum factors in all the cousins you weren't going to invite and your parents friends that wouldn't have made the cut then you are pushing 150 and that intimate wedding might start feeling like a celebrity wedding.
How to deal: Allocate a number of guests (give or take) to the parents of the bride, and the parents of the groom. That way they can decide themselves who is most important to them to be there.
Bonus tip: Don't let them invite relatives that you haven't seen for 5+ years if it mean's that you will have to cut off some close friends from the list. Also be prepared to have a huge wedding (Mum's have been known to win this fight.)
The Wedding Dress:
So you're in the bridal store and you have found the perfect dress that make's you feel just like a princess. But then you get the look from your mum and no, it's not the one of approval.
Whether it shows too much skin, is too figure hugging or if she is still holding on to the hope that you would wear her dress. (Even though it was stunning at the time but is now decades out of fashion.)
How to deal: Make sure that when you are out looking for a dress you always have your mum with you, she has probably been thinking about doing this since the day you were born. It will be something special to share together and it will also give you the opportunity to ask her to pick out dresses for you to try on that she likes. This doesn't mean that you have to end up with her choice but by doing this you can gauge what kind of style is appropriate to her and can keep that in mind when making the final decision.
Most fights will be in relation to the budget because, like it or not, that's what the whole day revolves around.
How to deal: Firstly, who is footing the bill? If your parents are covering the full cost of the day then it is understandable that they don't want to pay for overpriced roses when the carnations will look just as pretty, for a fraction of the cost. Secondly, she has already been through her own wedding plus her help with other friends and family so she will have a bit more experience than you. Sit down and discuss the budget at the start to establish both of your expectations, and where to meet in the middle, and then if there is something that you think will make or break the day then pay the difference yourself.
And remember it's all about choosing your battles...